BOOK REVIEW: To Rise Again At A Decent Hour - Joshua Ferris

I bought this book at a public library book sale. I had no idea what it was about and had never heard of the title before. It was only $1 so it wasn't that great of a risk.

I'm not really sure who this book is meant for, and to be honest, I even skipped full pages and found that the omission was entirely inconsequential. For example there were so many pages detailing a baseball game that just did not make any sense to someone like me, who does not watch or follow baseball. I'm sure it means something to someone who is not me.

There are a lot of multipage paragraphs, so anyone who hates big blocks of text would be exhausted. I understand a lot of it as a stream of consciousness David Foster Wallace Infinite Jest/James Joyce Ulysses type of situation. Although it starts out interesting, it very quickly becomes a drag to get through. You really just have to get through it, not read it.

The synopsis is just a dentist who is unhappy with his life. He is forced to come to terms with this unhappiness by a stranger of a mysterious religion who impersonates him on the internet.

Because of the "mystery religion" aspect of the book, there was a lot of discourse about Judaism, Christianity, and Atheism. It's not for everyone. Personally, as someone who studied the Holocaust, I found the comparison of the history of any religion to Judaism to be particularly grating. It's one of those things where the author thinks he's being really intellectual by "making you think," but just because you get people thinking doesn't mean it was interesting or of value. If you like this kind of intellectual circle jerk, this book might be for you.

I believe I gave it 2 or 3 stars on my bookstagram. I am relieved to see that the readers of Goodreads agree with me.

The next book I'm reading is Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale. I needed something truly brilliant to lift me up from this garbage.

Part Time

I start my part time job today. It's small, but it's something. Can I still consider myself unemployed? I guess I'm not "gainfully" employed? Gainful unemployment or ungainful employment. So after only a month of true unemployment, I was able to find this. It isn't enough to pay all my bills, so I'll still be dipping into savings.

I was really beginning to worry since I was reading a lot of reddit posts about not being able to find work for years. There are a lot of extremes. You either go and make a post if you've found a job to tell people to never give up, or you make a post because it's been years and you still can't find employment. With such polarizing experiences, it really stresses people out. This is all a part of the quarter life crisis I guess.

I have made a plan for what my next year will look like. I know people say you can't plan too much because there are only so many things you can control. But in order to reach any goals you need plans and the understanding that things can change. When you're unemployed, it feels like you have no control over your own life or your choices. So I think it's that much more important to make plans whether or not they will come to fruition. It's something to hold onto and something to motivate and encourage you.

So my plan is to work part time at a tutoring place a couple evenings a week while I substitute for a local school district. In my free time, I will be studying and applying for alternative certification programs. Hopefully I get in and can pay my way through the classes with the part time work. Then I'll keep keep subbing and tutoring until I can find a full time teaching position.

All of this scares the heck out of me, but I'm telling myself that I have already done the difficult part of soul searching and learning that teaching is my passion and one of my strengths in life. Now all I have to do is go for it. Sure, it will be tough to shift gears, but it will be tough in a different way from self reflection.

Day in my life

I decided to take a picture for each hour of my day. 

9

10 

11

12

1

2

3 

4 

5 

6

7

What about making your face?

After my post yesterday, I started thinking about what other small tasks help with productivity. Does putting on makeup count? Here are some other tasks I'm wondering about--

Showering 

Doing your hair 

Checking the mail 

Brushing your teeth 

Writing your morning pages (apparently another productivity booster) 

Drinking coffee/tea 

How small and insignificant does the task need to be? For the record, I did make my bed this morning. And I did assign it to one of my habit trackers. I think I need to have a series of tasks to do in the morning in order to feel mentally prepared for productivity. 

I had an initial phone screening/interview call this morning, and I have an interview for next Tuesday! Not sure if this is the kind of place that more or less gives everyone they call an in person interview or not. At least it's easier to make a better impression in person. 

Unfortunately, I was not very productive following this call. I think it was because the call was at 8:30am and I woke up right before the call came in. I knew the call was happening but, due to nervousness, I was undone. My schedule was also a little off as I decided to put up my Christmas tree and decorate for the season in general. And I went grocery shopping for my mom.  

Perhaps that is something that could be considered productivity? I'll say I was productive. 

Does making your bed every morning really translate to increased productivity?

I remember reading somewhere once that making your bed in the morning will make you more productive and change your life. After typing "making your bed productivity" into Google, Huffington Post and Psychology Today confirmed my recollection. Most of them are from 2015. Do you think it's changed in three years?

So I did make my bed this morning. I'm quite small and don't move too much in my sleep, so it wasn't an ordeal. It was more of a straightening of the sheets than "making" anything. Now I'm getting sidetracked thinking about whether or not the amount of work corresponds to your levels of productivity. Maybe the key is actually that I have to make my bed 30 days in a row to create a habit.

Alas, I made my bed because I knew I couldn't let myself stop being productive. Even though I don't have a job right now, it does not mean that I don't have a schedule. I make sure that all parts of my day are accounted for. I'm really not lying on my resume when I say that some skills I possess are attention to detail and time management.

As evidence of my productivity today, I worked on my December 2018 bullet journal spread.
The theme: red Christmas ornaments. I followed this youtube "plan with me" video by AmandaRachLee.

The only supplies I used were Crayola Supertips, a Muji gel ink pen, and a gold Prismacolor color pencil. I don't even have any brush pens, so I did all the handlettering manually.

Now I need to figure out which six habits I want to track. One of them is definitely going to be applying for jobs. I have to keep myself accountable. It's just so easy to get discouraged after constant rejection. Maybe one of them needs to be making my bed in the morning. This is my chance! 

Long lines mean happy days, and short lines mean not happy days. It's difficult to say if the lines will be mostly long or short this month. I did write that it was the most wonderful time of the year....The best that I can hope for is consistency. In general, I'm pretty good at keeping the existential dread at bay by channeling my energy into things like bullet journals.

And finally, my weekly spread! This is going to be a fun week to fill out because I'm actually going on a short trip (for my boyfriend's work Christmas party, I promise I'm not being fiscally irresponsible).

I'll let you know if I'm more productive when I make my bed in the morning or I'm just truly committed to not letting my joblessness affect my mental well being.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

When there's nothing left to lose, you've got to set yourself on fire...or quit your job

Disclaimer: I know I'm young and naive and a little too idealistic. I understand this. My mom constantly tells me that this is just "how things are." But isn't that what people used to say about racism? or even sexism? Furthermore, I do accept that the world sucks. I just have a lot of feelings.

When you quit your job without another job lined up, you really can't ask yourself if it was the right choice or not. Otherwise, you risk spiraling into an extended existential crisis where you spend every spare moment rationalizing the past and wallowing in regret. You need to be looking forward to the future.

At least this is what I'm telling myself after leaving a toxic work environment.

My boss condescendingly told me on my way home one night that she didn't want to hear anymore about my "trashy" social life. So two things: 1) I was literally in my car. She made me roll my window down to tell me this and 2) This was her response to my plans to go see Taylor Swift in concert. I would argue that Taylor Swift puts on a pretty wholesome show. (I mean, there were children there!) 

Obviously, this isn't the only reason I quite my job. If it were, then your judgement of me might be warranted. I really was relieved, though. There was a lot of change happening around me that sparked a longing for something better. It's time to get honest with myself about what I want and the steps I need to take to get there. It's not ideal, but it does force me to pursue what I want with a sense of urgency. More on what I actually want later. For now, I need to process.

I have read a minimum of five articles detailing my current situation, except all the writers of those articles are clearly not in said situation anymore. So here I am to chronicle my journey through unemployment with no backup plan!

Here are some other things I've done since being unemployed.

New Recipes I've created out of necessity
1) Thanksgiving Leftover Quesadillas with Cranberry Sauce garnish
2) Sausage Gravy Pasta with Mixed Vegetables

Podcasts I've started
1) Moms and Murder
2) Ologies
3) Murder and Margs

May or may not have also tried to join a Dungeons and Dragons group.